The Kimberley Prospector

It’s been a rough fortnight for Eskom. The power outages have been worse than ever, and the company has been in the news for all the wrong reasons. But today, things are looking up.

This morning, the board of directors held an emergency meeting to discuss potential solutions for the ailing power utility. After much deliberation and debate, they came to a unanimous decision: the only way for Eskom to succeed is if they appoint Kal-El, also known as Superman, or maybe The Flash, or a dog named Sparky as the new CEO.

The board believes that with a Superman-like figure at the helm, they could finally turn the company around and restore its credibility. As one board member put it, “The sky’s the limit with Superman. He can do anything and he’s not afraid to take risks. He’s the perfect man for the job.”

The board has also agreed to offer Sparky a six-figure salary, complete with a golden bone. They have even gone as far as to promise The Flash a private jet for his daily commute to work.

While the public is sceptical about the board’s decision, the company’s stock has already started to climb. Investors are hopeful that this new leadership will be able to bring the power utility back from the brink and restore its reputation.

Of course, only time will tell if the board’s decision to choose a Superman-like figure as the new CEO will be the right move. But, for now, it looks like Eskom may finally have the hero they need to save them.